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Stuck in a rut of anger and frustration with my kids

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sje401 Posted: 06-24-2011 7:52 AM

I am at my wits end with trying to deal with my kids and their energy and fighting.  When my 8yo DD and 5yo DS are together they goad each other and push each other's buttons until one of them explodes.  I can hear this happening so I'm constantly saying "stop it" "walk away" "leave him/her alone" and they just keep doing it.  Soon I'M the one exploding and yelling at them to stop yelling. It makes no sense.  I'm getting so frustrated with being frustrated!!  I want to be a good example for my kids but their constant needling of each other and fighting puts me over the edge and I don't know what else to do.  I know that siblings fight but it seems like that is all that is going on lately.  I don't even want to be around them!

I would love to hear from anyone who's experiencing the same thing.  I want to find a way to rise above it and be the calm person in the situation.  How can I maintain my temper when the fighting rarely stops and teach them ways to get along??  I want to like my kids again!

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dj rayne replied on 06-24-2011 5:08 PM

My mother always seperated the two parties being most obnoxious and now with the nephews (there are several in the same age group) we split them up and do the same. Sounds like a little quiet time is in order. There were/are times when we/they all played/play together nicely but we all also had our own interests we were encouraged to develop on our own which gave us needed breaks from one another. I read, one built models, another liked puzzles, one played with cards, each to their own. My DC loves legos as a form solitary entertainment. 

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eabaldwin replied on 06-24-2011 5:24 PM

I do not have older children, but I have been reading a great book called Playful Parenting.  It talks about the importance of playing with your children, and doing whatever it is they want to do (within reason, obviously!).  Maybe if you play some Barbies, cars, board games, etc, whatever they are into right now, it will help.

I strongly recommend the book, maybe your library has it!  Flowers

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Katherine Ann Baby Girl born Feb. 20, 2010
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CPD replied on 06-25-2011 10:17 PM

I highly, highly, recommend this book.



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GranolaLiz replied on 06-27-2011 12:59 AM

I have girls, who don't phisically fight (much) but do scream at each other like horrid little banshees. They are constantly pushing each other's buttons too.

A couple of times I've fantasized about duct taping their mouths shut, and then duct taping their hands together and to each others'... Embarrassed. That's something my parents would have done.

When it gets really bad I separate them - one has to be upstairs and one has to be downstairs or something like that, and of course I take everything (tv, toys etc) away from them until they can act civily. I also won't let them go on family outings together (and I tell them why - we will sit down and have a family meeting about it). It actually really improved when I canceled a trip to the waterpark because of it (their two siblings got to go with DH, while I stayed home with them)... when they realised how serious I was, and how much they were going to miss out on, and how boring it is to sit in a room alone.

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wanderer replied on 06-30-2011 11:43 PM

Mom made my brother and I wash windows- one inside, one outside. We'd start making faces and having fun quickly. Other than that, I've had no experience with it!

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