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Advice on telling your employer about pregnancy

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evagrace Posted: 07-04-2011 1:06 PM

I'm 13 weeks but haven't told anyone at work yet. I'm waiting until I'm actually showing which I'm not at all yet. I'm tall, 5'11, and most of my length is in my torso so my doctor said I might not show until 16-20 weeks. I also am not planning to return to work after having the baby. When I tell my employer that I'm pregnant, whenever that is, should I tell them that I'm not planning to return or keep that to myself until closer to my leaving time? I want to be honest with them but I've also only been at the job 6 months so I'm worried about it not being a good conversation. I also am curious if I could work part time later in the pregnancy, like the last 2 months, is that something I should bring up at the same time or also wait until later?

Happy 4th of July!!

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CStabuck replied on 07-05-2011 5:50 PM

I would say that waiting a few more weeks is fine, but I would advise you not to wait too long because your employer might start to catch on and then would feel like you were hiding things. I think that you should be upfront about your plans right away and talk to your boss about whether there might be a part time option right away too. I wouldn't expect it to be a bad conversation just because you haven't been at the job long. I mean everybody should be understanding at this point! Try to go in to the conversation thinking of it as the positive news that this is!

I think that being up front is the best course though. Waiting until later to tell your boss that you're not coming back is just setting them up with the wrong idea and that could lead to more frustration than anything else. I am sure that your boss will follow a different plan for replacing you depending on whether or not you're coming back and I think it's best to give them the right idea from the start.

Good luck!

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pammi1101 replied on 07-05-2011 6:20 PM

I told my boss at work when I was around 14 weeks. I hadn't totally started showing in an obvious way, but I could tell for sure that my clothes fit different. I was excited to  tell them about it though and they were suprised I hadn't told them sooner (not mad just suprised like 'how did you keep that a secret so long!). Anyhow, I didn't sit down and have a full conversation with HR until a few weeks ago (around 30?). Our HR person was fine with that, but I don't actually have any benefits to speak of (i'm part time so i have no sick days or vaca to use. I will just be taking an upaid leave).

Regarding telling about your leaving permanently that is tough! I might not tell that right away. I think it depends where you work, how you will be replaced, and your relationship with your boss/co-workers. I would worry if I told I wasn't coming back that I would be treated differently during the time I had left or encouraged to leave sooner than I might want.

I think having it be separate conversations would be good unless they immediately bring up your maternity leave plans. I'm not saying wait until you are 37 weeks along to say you aren't coming back, but you could probably easily wait another few months.

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